Month: Jan 2023
2023, Year of the InnerSpring!
No ‘water rabbits‘ for me: no horror-scope stars can tell me what I already am: uh, that’s all of us really:
created for Purpose.
Sure, life’s not always a nice garden fulla rose, but there’s a thing within the heart of every man woman and child:
…an Unshakeable Kingdom esp when we’re afraid. It is how a blind man dances in the rain. If he wants that freedom.
“We are born to more than just survive..” (our son’s fav song), no matter the storm.
Innerspring is where the rubber hits the road for me and doesn’t snap. My husband NJ calls it going on Overdrive. You got to be there to go there.
Last month and now – we are each of us recovering in our own way from a sudden health crisis that could’ve gone any which way.
I wake up early to look close at the dawn. Sometimes it is misty among filtered light. Am I the same person anymore? Yes and no. We age, we die we are birthed all over again, and again. “The old is gone, the new is here...” Whaaaat?!
….a New Creation, curiously pruned from fear. I have no explanation to any of that except we have been/ are in the presence of a Life beyond this Life already.
Unshakeable begins after everything that’s shakeable is all shook. A remnant remains. It has my face and print, my soul and iris. It is a me more aware of human limitations …. more aware of a Thing beyond easily-described fatalities, mortality, impermanence….
am staring at the unseen seedling that births a tree; staring at river beds beneath the surface of us, kicking at an assumed absence of immortality,
with a vengeance that betrays our own fear of God:
there are worshippers of rivers, trees, fire, rain, revering their own avatars and nod with relief at karmic cycles. There is despairing want for our answers here and now; humans are superior intelligence? “Oh there is no god but us, ya, no?!” So. We shut up that Inner Tide that offers Strength unparalleled;
sometime last month there was a precise moment when I made the choice to trust God outside that ICU no matter what. Shock and trauma can hurtle the human spirit into a corner which offers little life support. Here you might saddle the dark, or the Light. It is always a decision.
There was that undeniable pause for me: a corridor between Fear and Peace. Choose Life, He says. Becharata bachiyim
“Christ in me, the Hope of Glory” : a phrase that will forever stoke this tiny head.
I will never return to normal🙂 not after staring in the dark and dancing with angels. Heaven is for real. It’s agenda is not always pretty. “Good” is best redefined with syllables we must relearn.
After you taste nectar you forgive bitter gourd. You don’t sing songs on sad-indifferent-hate anymore. You’ve out -stared Fear, you watch hell freeze. One day we will each see face to face what we glimpse at, in part here.
Whatever you are at right now, I’m wishing you that Innerspring of Peace that surpasses human understanding: all 360 days left of 2023. Jesus lives, He loves you.
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