He took it and took it, then he didn’t. The last time we met he showed us his telescope with Saturn rings and Jupiter all in his panelled rooms with fresh flowers sometimes, and a dog named Bin. He ate sunflower seeds and loved the colour yellow. S.J was your regular above average looking superman that fixed bicycle tyres and switches. He baby sat your kids and took out your trash. He was handsome and brilliant, he talked to you as if you were gorgeous; he wasn’t a flirt, he was nice, dependable. When SJ walked out his terrace and died of depression they said, he was not compromising anything anymore, he just couldn’t take it nor fake it. We’ll never know, but as more and more people get nooses and poison concoctions, more people fall to depression and even heart attacks, I’m wondering that we cover our sadness with the laughter we ache for. I wish we could talk out loud, ask for help. I wish. I wish.


22 thoughts on “Compromise

  1. I feel your pain, my friend. Our household has a similar struggle at the moment. The Funeral is less than 2 hours from now & I can’t figure out what to wear, much less prepare myself for the onslaught of emotions that will assault me when I enter the room. Praying for you in thins moment helps me get a grip on my current circumstance.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wishing you all the strength you need and prayers. What can I say. We have a celebrity suicide almost everyday here in indua. Besides everyday people and heart attacks its the craziest kind of crazy going on . God hold you safe

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How are you my friend? Trusting you are well. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you there, but praying His light in you will spread through the broken into places you go.
        Stay blest

        Liked by 1 person

    1. They hide it so well, yes. Heart breaking when they do. And if they dont know what they’re about to do. To think of even taking your life. How deep is that darkness. How alone. I wish with all my heart humans knew they arent alone

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Seriously. How sad to be alone and I’ll, yet how many are there that can confide in a trusted friend? Stigmas are so deep. And a person’s inner life can be too complex to say out loud. My heart breaks for the hundreds and hundreds of us alone without knowing there are understanding friends right in front of them. It’s so unfair and cruel, but I can imagine how hard it must be to open up. Or if theres an illness, that’s worse.
      Faith… that’s simple and yet so complicated for those not used to leaning on another, leave alone God.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes…It is not easy to open up and share the personal problems with anyone, even with the closest of friends.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah , if only… I used to question the why behind such actions,,,It’s tough to actually speak out you know,,, I used to cover up in poetry and friends would love the pieces yet no one could see through…thank you .

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tough one.
    One looks for signs, but how dyou pry?
    With our son here, so young, he was getting depressed. We hadn’t a clue but now we recognize triggers. He needs his meds. Some words kick in joy. Some words stir sorrow. Some foods enhance. Certain activities enable. Somethings disable. He even started talking about death. Where does that come from for one so young? It was involuntary. We took hours of watching him to know what he was going thru.
    It’s still a cat and mouse game with his moods but we are better than when we began.
    One needs TO PL NOT BE ALONE and ill in this time.
    Be a good thing to look out real sharp for each other in the family. Depression and indifference are easily stronger contenders for social breakdown than Covid itself.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This reminds me of one of our office messengers who was very happy and enthusiastic and we often looked forward to His jokes and then one day he didn’t report to work and the title of the e-mail read FUNERAL ANNOUNCEMENT and he was no-more.

    We were told he committed suicide.

    I wish people would speak up because we are in this together.

    Could it be that we are not good listeners and judge alot?

    Just thinking aloud!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So much goes thru us in this day and time. It’s hard to process our own thoughts and responses. But now that we’re aware maybe we would notice more. I’m so sorry for what happened with your office friend. Its heartbreaking and unfair. And life goes on . And on. Just praying wisdom and safety will prevail. And that people who pray will pray for each other. For strangers and neighbours and govts and citizens. And nations. It’s that time. We must spend time thinking on each other. On families and kids and older ppl. And markets and hospitals. Keep the back burners of our minds praying praying all the time.

      Liked by 1 person

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